Kids and Christmas
by maverick9871
Summary: Why parents should fear what kids learn over Christmas break."


I don't own Naruto.

Iruka sighed as he looked at his class and thought "_In all my years as an instructor there has never been a class that has surprised me more then my first class with the rookie nine and Naruto."_ and said "Alright everyone, take a seat."

As everyone sat down Iruka said "I wish to welcome you all back from our christmas break and I asked you all before we went on our 2 week break to learn what it truly means to celebrate this time of year. Now we will go in order of you name and you will come up and tell everyone what you learned."

As the students came up one at a time Iruka smiled at how simple each was. Iruka glanced at his paper and said "Next is Arashi Namikaze."

Arashi Namikaze was the 8 year old son of Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, the 7th Hokage and Sakura Haruno Namikaze. He had blond hair and green eyes.

As he got to the front of the class Iruka said "Why don't you tell us all what you learned over our break."

Arashi said "Um...I don't think I should Iruka-sensei. Not everyone will like it."

Iruka said "Nonsense Arashi, I am sure that everyone will enjoy hearing what you learned."

Arashi sighed and said "I learned that filling cookies with milk will make a woman pregnant, Santa is a pervert, my mom and every other Kunoichi of the village are prostitutes and my dad and every other Hokage are nothing but pimps."

Silence filled the room before Iruka screamed "WHAT."

Arashi covered his ears and Iruka put his hands on his hips and said "You have better explain yourself Arashi or I will have your parents come and make you tell everyone sorry for what you just said."

Arashi got mad and glared at Iruka and screamed "FINE, I'll explain everything. You remember the Christmas party the night we had our last day of school that was at the Hokage mansion. After everyone went home and I was asleep I woke up and went to get me a drink of water and I heard someone in my dads office. I went and looked through the crack of the door and saw my mom and Santa kissing and hugging each other and I heard my mom tell Santa she wanted him to fill her cookie up with his milk because she wanted to have another child. I quickly left and went to the Hokage tower and found Dad at his desk and I told him what I saw and heard and he told me that he knew all about it and not worry about it. The next day at breakfast mom handed dad a big bag full of money and she told him it was from all the hard work the night before. Now I don't know much but I asked grandma Tsunade about it and she told me that I caught mommy and Santa having sex. I asked uncle Kakashi what sex was and he told me it's when a man and woman are physically together. I asked aunty Ino why would a man pay a woman to be physical with her and she told me it's because she's a prostitute. I then asked uncle Kiba why would a prostitute give someone her money and he told me that she pays her pimp who she works for money so he would protect her. Since mom works for daddy and is a prostitute and every other kunoichi of our village works for daddy and he is the Hokage so he has to protect them that means he's their pimp as well and they pay him. Even his title refers to it. The HO-Kage. Then on Christmas morning mommy told daddy she going to have a baby."

Iruka slapped his head and said "Class...we will continue tomorrow where we left off, Arashi, your coming with me." as he put his hand on Arashi shoulder and shushined away.

They appeared in the Hokage office where Naruto was writing something down and Sakura was reading a report to him and Sakura said "Iruka-sensei, what are you doing here and why is Arashi here."

Iruka said "Arashi, would you please repeat for you mom and dad what you told the class."

Arashi gulped and began to tell it over again and both Sakura and Naruto eyes got wide as they paled and Naruto said "Arashi...I was Santa, the me you talked to here was a Kagebunshin. Your moms not a prostitute and none of the other kunoichi are either. The money your mom gave me was for the fundraiser to give the orphans at the orphanage presents for Christmas."

Arashi eyes got wide and said "So your were Santa."

Sakura nods and Arashi said "So if your Santa and mom was Santa wife...who was the elf who was doing tricks with the toys."

Sakura said "That was your uncle Kankuro."

Arashi rubbed the back of his head and said "Oops....sorry about that."

Iruka said "It's alright Arashi, how about I take you out for some ramen and let your mom and dad finish up here and tomorrow you can tell everyone what you really learned."

Arashi nods and they left.

The next day Iruka said "Alright everyone, we got the misunderstanding taken care of yesterday so Arashi will now tell everyone what he REALLY learned and then we will continue, Arashi."

Arashi smiled and said "I learned that my dad is really Santa and mom is Santa wife, Uncle Kankuro is really an elf who makes all our toys and Iruka and Ayame at the Ramen stand are going to have a baby."

Iruka who was getting angry hearing him mess up again went wide eyed and said "WHAT, AYAME PREGNANT." before he fainted.

Arashi looked confused and said "I don't know why he seemed so shocked about it. I mean I saw him put his milk inside of Ayame cookies she made him yesterday when he dipped his cookies. Adults are wierd." as he grabbed the clipboard and said "Lets see, Miko Nataly, your next. Why don't you tell us what you learned over Christmas break while we wait on sensei to wake up."


End file.
